A life in Christ didn’t bring happiness, joy and peace. Strong, healthy, real (not imaginary) relationships did.

1 Peter 1:8-9

Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

Romans 14:7

For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit,

The Holy Spirit is supposed to bring joy and peace, but where was it? Sure, no matter where you go there are some people who always seemed to be happy go lucky, but if Jesus is in one’s life, shouldn’t all Christians be like that? Life should be a wonderful thing. A blessing. Something to put a smile on your face.

There are many claims made by Christians that the only way to achieve true happiness is through a relationship with Jesus Christ. (Ironically, other people of other religions claim to find true happiness through their own gods). I learnt later that happiness doesn’t come from any perceived relationship with any God. It has nothing to do with how holy you are or how much time you spend worshipping God. It has everything to do with whether you have good healthy relationships with REAL people.

Looking back at my own life, I saw this to be true.   

I have found that happy people seem to have similar things in common. Maybe a good spouse or partner who values them – a relationship built on trust, one where there is no abuse. Maybe a great friend or two, who is always there when needed, one you can rely on when the going gets tough. Maybe loving supporting family who build up your self-esteem.

When I see happy people, I see people with at least some of these things. The happiest have all of these things. It doesn’t matter whether you’re a Christian, an atheist or a Muslim, no matter what your religion or creed, you are unlikely to find happiness if you don’t have at least one of those things.

Look around you. Look at the people you know. You’ll see its true, especially with those people in your church who seem to have it all together. Compare them to the ones who always seem to have everything wrong in their life.

When I think back to the happiest times in my life I DID have good healthy relationships. The saddest, most miserable times were when I didn’t have them. During times of loneliness. Like the times back in the late 80s. Even though at the time I believed I was drawing closer to God. I believed I was really getting to know him better, strengthening my faith, becoming more knowledgeable and receiving so called revelations and epiphanies.

None of it made me happy. I was miserable most of the time and crying out to God on a regular basis. Jesus certainly wasn’t bringing me joy and peace. I felt no gentle hand of God supporting me.

Being a leader in church, you get to see first-hand just how little joy and peace Christianity brought to people. It wasn’t because they didn’t have a good relationship with Jesus Christ. It was because they didn’t have good relationships with REAL people.

I saw lonely people - people with only the church to fall on for support. Emotionally needy people who needed other Christians to encourage them because they didn’t have any relationships with people who could do that for them.  I saw people in failing and abusive relationships. I saw people who struggled to develop good friendships with others in the church.  

If God really was all he was cracked up to be, why were these people not filled with the joy of the lord? And no, I’m will not accept the argument that they weren’t true Christians. I know how genuine many of them were and how much they desired to please and serve God. The Holy Spirit was all that was needed and they supposedly had that when they repented and gave their lives to Christ.

Many people out there claim that God made a difference in their lives. That God took them out of their misery, cleaned up their lives and gave them joy. What’s the bet their sudden will to change came from a new outlook on life, a real desire to change and a ready support group there to encourage them? Sometimes it takes hitting rock bottom and having a gut full of your current situation before you finally decide to take some actions to clean things up. Only once there is a real desire to change will you change and how empowering is it to believe that you have a supernatural being behind you?  It always helps too when you have people there encouraging you rather than dragging you back down.

People who come to churches often find a ready and willing support group of clean-living people, people who don’t have the problems they do. People who want to take them under their wing. They have this wonderful support by wonderful people and their esteem is built up. They think they’ve really found a wonderful family in the church. Nevertheless, how often do those people end up regressing and sinking back into despair? How often do they backslide and leave the church? 

When people are treated like a mission field, or a pet project, then the chances of them regressing are very strong and people like that are often looked upon that way because most Christians wouldn’t associate with them otherwise. In cell groups leaders and others in the group often have these people forced upon them and even though they might not like them they have a job to do and that’s befriend, mentor and encourage  these people. Once these people become settled into the church, those who mentored them see that their job is done, so they move on to someone else. Sometimes they may even see that person as a lost cause and give up on them. I’ve seen this so many times in churches. People who are welcomed in with open arms and then shunned by people later because they didn’t quite fit in or just wouldn’t take the advice and instructions given. People who moved to a different cell group or a different church.  Fine! There was no need to have to associate with them anymore. They were someone else’s problem now.

Later, as a Cell group leader, it was certainly an eye-opening thing, seeing the lack of joy and the lack of ability people had to solve their own problems. This is the side of Christianity that the average Christian doesn’t get to experience in such a large capacity. 

Reason 24: The Bible can be used to defend any crazy belief you want

Reason 26: Prayer had no obvious effect on anything. Taking action yourself is what gets things done

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