A rant against radio stations

By Vanessa Dante (Jan 2018)

I like to listen to the radio. I like to keep up to date on the latest music, the latest news and the latest gossip on what goes on in celebrity’s bedrooms. I normally have the radio wake me up on the morning to one particular station and enjoy the banter that goes on between the DJs. Well, all accept for one DJ that has the most irritating laugh you’ve ever heard. How did that person ever get a job on radio?

I have to say though that there are some things that do kind of tick me off when it comes to radio stations. For one thing, why is it there is always at least one really annoying song that is played every day at exactly the same time? It’s usually when you’re in bed trying to wake up, so you’re still too drowsy to reach over and change stations when the song comes on.

Perhaps there should be some feature on the radio where you can outlaw the playing of annoying songs. Something where you can program in which songs you absolutely refuse to listen to and when that song comes on you get elevator music playing instead. Or at least something better than that irritating song.

Even better let’s have a radio that can avoid playing any artist you can’t stand. For instance, a radio that will NEVER play Justin Bieber or Rick Astley. Wouldn’t that be wonderful? Instead of those artists, perhaps the radio can be programmed to immediately kick in and replace that dross with REAL music from bands like Pink Floyd, Queen, Muse or the hundreds of other great artists that have been, gone and still are.

I’m sure in this day and age of technology, radios should easily be made with such features, don’t you?

Something I’d like to see from radio stations are competitions where people really DO have to win to be given prizes. Way too often I’m hearing people on the radio being given clue after clue to the answer of some simple question, still not getting it and being given a prize anyway…

‘Who sang “Billie Jean”?’ 

‘Errr… oohh I can’t remember…’

‘It was a skinny black guy who had so much plastic surgery his nose was falling off.’

‘Oh… umm.. yeah, I know who that was. Ohhh… I can’t remember his name.’

‘He had a chimp named Bubbles and liked to hang out with young boys.”

‘Oh… was it, Morgan Freeman?’

‘No, Morgan’s a movie actor.’

‘Will Smith?’

‘No! The guy we're after wasn’t a rap or a TV star.  He had a hit selling album called “Thriller” and he lived in a ranch called “Neverland”. ‘

‘Errr…’

‘He died nearly 10 years ago and people used to refer to him as whacko.’

‘Oh I know! Prince! It was Prince!’

‘…Yeah, that’s near enough, we’ll give you the prize. Congratulations!’

Most radio competitions are so ridiculously easy that there is no challenge. If you’re going to have a competition at least make it a little challenging and don’t just give prizes away to morons!

Seriously, this is no joke but there was once a competition where a radio station was giving out Adele tickets. They rang people’s numbers… people who’d entered the competition by texting their numbers into the radio station. The people had to answer their phones by singing “Hello…. It’s me.”  Most people didn’t do that and were then prompted to do it by the DJ rather than being disqualified like they should have been. Even then most of them would speak it not sing it. They’d still be given the tickets anyway! Seriously? They never sang the line and they still get the prize? Why have the competition at all if you’re not going to force people to obey the rules? The prizes should go to someone who actually makes an effort, surely?