Recker's World
Ban Politicians from Government!
By Will Ullman (2018)
Well it’s been proven without a shadow of a doubt that politicians should never be allowed in government. That’s right! Anyone who would want to be a politician is clearly not the sort of person that is suitable to be a politician.
So my solution to the problem is that we the people should choose who should campaign for office and it should be people who really don’t want to go into politics. People who would never want to be president or prime minister. Those sorts of people, because they are the people who will do a good job.
So anyway, I decided to do my roving reporter thing and do a little research to find out which people groups would be the best type of people to govern our countries. I came up with the following groups as the best fit:
Cleaners
Seeing as just about every country is in a complete mess, it makes sense to vote cleaners into office. They know all about cleaning up shit. They know what to do with it and how to get rid of it. And if it seems one of them starts a smear campaign against an opponent, it’s not actually a smear campaign at all. They’re just cleaning up REAL shit that just happened to get splattered over their opponents
Actors
We’ve had one actor as president and he’s looked upon fondly by a lot of people. We’ve also had one or two running for other places in office too like governor. There’s even been pop-stars in some countries. Actors are great because even if they don’t know what they’re doing they can actually act like they know what they’re doing, so instill in us a little more confidence in our governments.
Non-Donald-Trump Reality TV hosts
All reality TV hosts except for Donald Trump as we know how bad he is. I’m talking about guys like maybe Survivor’s Jeff Probst. Imagine him in office. If somebody isn’t doing their job properly the government could just have its own tribal council and vote out the dead weight. And imagine if England had Gordon Ramsey as PM. He’d be able to simplify all the country’s problems right down to two basic states “It’s RAW!” and “It looks like shit!” Then all he has to do is bring in the cleaners.
Muppets
Some people say politicians are a bunch of muppets, but I’m talking about the muppets that we actually respect. It was only last year that Vanessa Dante interviewed Kermit the Frog in an edition of UBBA Magazine. Kermit had announced his intention to run for office and become the new president of the USA. I say he and the other muppets would make great candidates and are a lot smarter and more in touch with reality than most politicians.
Atheists
One thing we don’t want is people sitting around praying all day long. That’s not going to solve our problems. The last thing we need is some nut job in power who thinks that God wants them to bring on Armageddon either! We need non-deluded people who are going to get off their butts and take action. People who make their own purposes and meaning in life. People who aren’t just going to sit back and watch this planet go to shit, hoping that God will fix it.
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