People put on a pious façade at church

People behave differently at church than at home. They put on a pious façade and look like great people, but can be nothing like a Christian at home. I personally know of two people in my family and extended family who stood in church acting holy, when at home they were abusing their kids horribly. You can claim they were not true Christians but I know that at least one of them was a very sincere Christian. I also have plenty of Christian friends who didn't behave like Christians outside of church. 

Being genuine was something I always strived to be, but I found that although it was never my intention, I tended to behave differently depending on where I was and whom I was with. 

Some places require us to behave differently. The way I behaved around my parents was different to the way I behaved around others. You have to watch your Ps and Qs. At work, you have to be professional. With close friends, you can completely be yourself. What about church? Well yes, different again, but why?

It bothered me. In no way did I ever trying to put on a façade, but what I did notice was that at church I tended to present myself differently than anywhere else.

At church, you are expected to act a certain way and when you talk, you use Christian speak. Everything is very Christian focussed and even though you may not intend to, you keep the real you out of it. Not that the real you is necessarily anything that bad, it’s just that there’s a certain culture in church and certain etiquette you follow. 

It also affected the social side of church for me. For instance, when fellowshipping at Christian friend’s homes. Cell groups. Potluck dinners, activities, etc. Unless you became so relaxed with those people and they became the sort of people you share everything with, then you find yourself with very strict self-imposed boundaries. At least that’s what I found. Therefore, I was never really myself around these people.

Why couldn’t I just be myself? It frustrated me no end, especially nearer the end of my Christian walk.

In 1994, my wife and I moved to Hamilton, shortly before the birth of our daughter. We attended the Eastside Apostolic Church (now known as Activate Church). We got involved in a cell group with other couples who had babies. One of those couples was Phil and Kris who ran the group. A wonderful couple and very much genuine Christians. We even spent time with them on a personal level, but yet I could never truly be myself.

Phil and Kris ended up leaving Hamilton to plant a church in another town.  I would not see Phil again for another 15 years and it would be then that I would truly get to know him as I should have. The facades would be completely wiped away. Both of us would find ourselves single, completely having re-evaluated our beliefs and no longer seeing the bible or Christianity as we once did. We would even hit the town together.

We would find out that we had way more in common than we ever realised, but which we never dared reveal as church friends and even less so as fellow leaders.

It made me question just how many Christians really show their true selves at church? How much is a façade? How much do they hide for fear of not looking like a good Christian?

Where is the Holy Spirit in them?

Reason 26: Prayer had no obvious effect on anything. Taking action yourself is what gets things done

Reason 28: The strength/popularity of a church was always dependent on the charisma of the pastor

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